The Sleepless Dreamer (sleepless_dream) wrote,
The Sleepless Dreamer

Umber Hulk

It's amazing what you can come up with using a thesaurus and a box of 128 Crayolas. I'm just sorry the Burnt Sienna Leviathan didn't make the cut. The umber hulk looks like a cross between a stag beetle and Jesse Ventura (or, in more recent incarnations, a cross between an African harvester termite and Crispin Glover): a big bipedal insect with those weird insect clampy jaws and claws and fingers and bleh. It has the power to confuse onlookers, which is a power more D&D monsters should have. "So this is, what? A perfectly round bird with five legs? I don't get it. What kind of monster is OW MY HIT POINTS!"

Blink Dog

These intelligent, teleporting, other-dimensional fox terriers are the natural enemies of displacer beasts. I love that Gygax had this whole magic-spewing ecosystem going on. Of course blink dogs are the natural enemies of displacer beasts! And esophagus monsters feed on the tender leaves of the rare-but-majestic elf ficus! It all fits together! Anyhow, blink dogs are chaotic good, which means that they're one of the few creatures in the Monster Manual that don't exist solely to guard treasure and draw blood. Instead they can aid the party, provide information, and look really surprised when you kill them to search their spleen for emeralds.

From The Book of Ratings.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded