Iria Van'Caelum, my child. You have suffered much, and much of it you attribute to suffering in my service. This is not so.
You were ordered by the High Church to travel to the city of Proskur and discover the intent of a small cloister of my worshippers. You did not directly follow these orders and not only endangered yourself, but caused the child Leandra to be taken. Subsequently, she is lost to my guiding hand. You acted in accordance to what you thought was 'good'; though such actions are not always right. As an initiate, the larger troubles of Proskur should have been immediately reported to the Church that they might have taken it into the hands of ones more capable than yourself.
My hand was on you in the trials that came from your deviation from your orders. And upon your return to Proskur, you fulfilled your task to locate the sect of your brethren. At this time, you should have reported back to your home Church in Cormyr. Instead you persisted in investigating matters above and beyond your abilities, only managing to make matters worse. In doing so you not only continued to act out of accordance with Church orders, but endangered multiple others with your actions. Not least among these were your Brothers in faith. Because of your deviance, things did not progress as they should have.
You were taken by those of the Black Lord, and I could not hear your prayers. You were lost to me for a time. The Lord of Darkness' return to the Realms was unexpected and his actions doubly so. In your imprisonment, your faith wavered - I would not expect it to stand strong in such a case, do not misunderstand. But in your heart you blame me. Your faith is poisoned.
You should be comforted to know that Adam's death was not in vain. Upon his release from the mortal realm, I took him into my care and restored him to life in the Realms. His responsibility, as a Champion of Justice, is to track down those that performed ill deeds upon the both of you. You should not concern yourself with those entities any longer. Likewise with the child Leandra. She has chosen her path and is the only one that may. Know that she is alive.
When I discovered what was occuring, I put events into motion that would free you from your tortures. I called upon many allies on your behalf. Still, in your heart, you doubted and you blamed. The memories which were stolen from you I acquired and kept, with the help of Ilmater and his faithful, Edna. My intent was that these memories should die with the woman, to spare you from them. Instead you questioned. Ever you questioned me - "Why?"
You travelled to the village of Dia and bore in your heart a wrath and want for vengeance against those that had mistreated one of my agents. While your drive is admirable, you allowed your sense of retribution to blind you to the truth of the hand of Justice at work. The entity which found itself bound to the vile tree in the forest was rebellious. Crafted by my hand, it was to be the instrument to bear your memories. Instead it disobeyed me and defied my will. The people of Dia, though they bore ill-will, acted as the Hand of Justice toward the entity. In the end, it was left with only one path; to fulfill its duty if it wished to be freed. I returned your memories in an attempt to restore your faith by granting your desire. Instead I was met with even more questioning.
The only time I have heard your voice lifted in prayer to me, aside from your daily rituals, is to question my will. This is not the behavior of one who is Faithful. This is not the behavior of one that would be a Champion in my name.
You will seek a Church and Justicar, and there you will seek atonement for your transgressions and a balm for your wounded soul. Should you decide then that your spirit is no longer suited to serving my Church, you may resign your robes and the Church will be ordered to provide you safe travel arrangements to your home in Cormyr.
Until you seek atonement for your wavering faith, you will not serve as my Champion to the people. This is my will.